Entry 066 | Story

Usually when I'm chatting online with friends and I get bored I'll ask them to tell me a story, and to make it a good one. Stat. Usual responses include I had a ham sandwich today/ I got no stories or *fart*. But on this occasion, I actually got a good story from a very creative one Mark Hauge:

this one time
there was this girl
and she was named nimdy karp
and she really liked fishing for carp
so everyone at school called her the fish lady
and she usually smelled bad
but one day
after school
she went to the fish market
and of course she went straight to the carp section
and one of the carp talked to her
and said "don't be afraid of your heritage, you are truly a karp"
and she's like no, my family came from carp island, home of the carps
then nimdy realized she switched her c and her k
and made the mistake of disagreeing with the talking carp
which actually meant she AGREED with the carp
so she went to carp island and asked father karp if her last name was really carp, and not karp
and then he says "nimdy... your true name is..."
MINDY PARK
you are actually park
and then mindy grew up and children climbed all over her and swang on her swing sets because that's what parks do and she lived happily ever after actually she wasn't alive she was a park, by the way this has nothing to do with you
end scene
fade to black

I have to say this is a simple story, but one of the best I've gotten from anyone, especially right on the spot. It reminds me old korean fables I used to hear as a child. And of course anything about myself is always a hoot. Expect an illustrated version of this tale to come soon.

Entry 065 | Untitled

I had to take the kimchi bucket out for a walk today. I say walk bc the bucket's so big, it might as well have sprouted legs. I didn't tell him where we were goin'. He'd been in the fridge since my folks and relatives came to visit and hadn't seen the light of day since they left. He was however, starting to make his presence known olfactorily and it had to be stopped.

Entry 062 | Sweaters and Taxes

Talking to the H&R block lady for 2 hours today about my new foray into the wonderful world of freelance, brought me back to nights of endless math with dad. When I was a kid, my dad used to keep me up way past my bedtime until I got all 50 of his math problems correct. One slight mistake and 50 new ones appeared underneath my sleepy drool as I struggled to pry my shutting eyes open. My mom would plead him to let me go to sleep but he showed no mercy. Not that Judy, the tax specialist was giving me math problems but just trying to follow along as she whipped out percentages and expense estimations was enough to make my back arch with intimidation and unease. Judy was more patient with me and answered my same questions 5 times over and then the 6th time when I asked it again 10 minutes later. I hate math. And I hate figuring out taxes. But I guess it's all apart of being an adult. And as a part of being an adult, I allowed myself to go to the GAP and buy myself a sweater afterward.

Entry 062 | Untitled

Since I've been at my new job, I've been a frequenter at Starbucks. Once in the morning and once in the afternoon. I don't even drink coffee really, but like my co-worker, I also like to buy stuff. It's crazy how much I go there and it's shameful how many used cups are currently sitting at my desk. I'm seriously thinking about getting those faux starbucks plastic cups. Fun story, I know.

Entry 060 | What would I do without TAL

Chris Ware + TAL = Happiness

This week I've been trying unsuccessfully to get a co-worker to listen to This American Life podcasts with me. He wasn't biting so I gave up. (I realize the older I get, the less time I spend trying to get people to care about something and how awesome it is. It's not worth it, I can spend my time better blogging about my realizations instead). But anyhoo, it made me think about some of my favorite episodes from the past. I think I've listened to every episode from when I used to work at a place where I needed lots of good stories to get myself through the day. I remembered one episode where they had recorded a story at Lula Cafe about restaurant tipping. So I revisited that one again today; I had forgotten that there's another hilarious story in the same episode called Allure of the Mean Friend. It's just golden. Both stories actually sorta tie into my recent entry about how being a bitch will make you seem more powerful. I'll post the link here in case you want to listen to it. Acts 1 & 2: HERE

Entry 059 | Good Night & Tough Luck

Just came across some cute/humorous insights and drawings by Christoph Niemann via my friend's posting.




See them all HERE

Entry 058 | Lessons Learned

Been hanging out with a lot of girlfriends lately. And in talking with them, a lot of theories I've had have only been strengthened by validation from these like minds. Here's a couple:

1. #2s (younger sisters) know the importance of being inclusive and the significance of remembering stupid little details like who you saw that movie with or what stance you took in that one convo 2 years ago. And it's not because we're sad sensitive boobs; it's because as little sisters, we know what it feels like to be shafted and steam rolled. And we want to make sure that doesn't happen to others.

2. You have to be a bitch to gain a little respect and build a sense of intrigue about you. This is especially true in the workplace. When you're bitchy, you get what you want and people are scared of you. Even more so, they want to be on your side and be friends with you. This only works though if you're good looking. Otherwise you're just a bitch. In short, the witchier you are, the faster and further ahead you get.

That's all for now.

Entry 057 | I read good now

It's shameful, but I haven't read a book in a long while. Yesterday, I was reading something online and I found myself having to sound out a word a tad longer that I felt comfortable. It wasn't even a big word but it did have a lot of syllables. I started fearing that I'm forgetting how to read. I'd been scanning book review lists and wanted to pick out a good one. But it's been so long and I don't feel that I want to commit to any one just yet; I think I need to ease into it. So today I picked up some magazines because as we know, magazines have more pictures.

Currently reading:









I'll tell you what I find.

Entry 056 | Mawage

Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us togeder tooday. Mawage, that bwessed awangment, that dweam wifin a dweam...

My sister's getting married this weekend and I'm very excited for her. I hope to see all these months of planning and stress pimples finally pay off and that she has the best wedding EVAH. Above is a picture of my folks on their big day.

Entry 053 | Milton Glaser

ON TEACHING:
I think if you don't do something to project into the future that way, the possibility for total self absorption and narcissism becomes very much greater.

Entry 051 | No Direction Home

Bob Dylan, the singer-songwriter who has taken his fans down Highway 61 by way of Lonely Avenue and Desolation Row, is in negotiations to voice a satellite navigation system.... Read more here.

Ivanna get it. And drive around aimlessly to the crooning of Bob's incoherent mumblings.

Entry 049 | Some Stuff I Like

I just wanted to share some stuff I like today. Anderson Cooper on GNN. Watch here. Dan Rather-not and Walter Cranky. *chuckle* This is the kinda news I like!

And in unrelated news, Sunshine Cleaning is a good movie. Made me tear up. I like it.

Entry 048 | Little Fury

Stealing this from Liz's blog bc it's jut too cute to be true. I just really like their little diagram, my favorite is "Learns to speak English by watching Martin." Check out Little Fury.


I, myself learned English by watching I love Lucy. Which explains a lot. Thanks Lizzo.

Entry 047 | "It's better to be earnest than to be hip"

If you haven't seen The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch, it's about time you did. Now! Do it! And if you have, it never hurts to watch it again. I saw it on wttw this morning and was once again inspired and motivated by his words. Rest in peace Randy.

Entry 045 | Point of Light

Watch this video.

This song was in the regular rotation of songs we sang in our elementary school music class. This song follows me around to this day (in my head!!) and forces me to pick up crap I see on the ground for fear that someone will slip on it and fall then break their hip. Or if when we're at Target, and I see Al slip a box of kleenex she decided she doesn't want in the stationery aisle, I'll yelp, "point of light!!" and ask her to return it to its proper aisle. Maybe I'm just an OCD ridden weirdo but I can't help it. It's ingrained in my head that if you see what's wrong and you try to make it riiight, you will be a point of liiiight. What a dork.

Entry 044 | Marc Johns

These are just a few of some of the most delightful illustrations by Marc Johns.

Entry 040 | Untitled

Just found a nice picture of Serge Gainsbourg and Jane Birkin and thought I'd post it up.

Entry 038 | Sister Sister!

My favorite sister had a very good bachelorette party this weekend. Many a-hearts will be broken come September.

She scares because she cares.

Entry 037 | 500 Days of Summer

I was a little disappointed, I had higher hopes for it. But it was still a pretty good movie. You won't die if you don't watch it, but it was cute. Yep, cute. Here are some of my thoughts while watching it:

1) JGL reminds me of a young Keanu Reeves

2) Keanu Reeves is a good actor

3) Speed was a good movie

4) I want to raid Zoe Deschanel's character's closet. And steal her apartment. And her hair.

5) Being spacey works for you if you're attractive

6) Ate my movie theatre dinner too fast

7) Being in a relationship is great!

8) It's OK not being in one too

9) There's only teeangers in here

10) Pretty people will keep your attention for a good 2 hours

Entry 036 | Real slut!

I just found my design on the American Apparel website!! I guess great sluts think alike.


what the hale

Entry 035 | Cave Slut

This is my creation. It's what I think hussies would've worn in the caveman days. I made it myself. They should pick me for project runway.

Entry 034 | My gender confused family

Al and I were talking about girls wearing over-sized men's collared shirts back in the 90's (think Amy Grant in the music video, Every Heartbeat) and it reminded me of the time when she was in 9th grade and I was in 5th grade and we were at Old Navy. Tired of daisy dukes being the only option for girl's, she was on a mission to find shorts that fell below the knee. This was a time before capri/bermuda shorts were in style and the only shorts that fell below the knee were men's shorts. So while she was trying on all the men's shorts she had collected, I was instructed to go and find her a different size. You can imagine the confused look on the Old Navy worker's face when he saw me sifting through the shorts in the men's section. Even more confused was he when he informed me, "You know these are the men's shorts..." to which I replied, "Oh, I know, these are for my sister" and skipped away with a pair and a carefree bounce.

This then reminded me of the time where when I was younger and with my folks at Walmart. We were there to get some shoes to send to my dad's niece in France, as a surprise. My dad's niece is quite the tall lady with quite the big feet. So naturally the only way to know which ones would fit her was for him to try them on as reference as they were similar in size. We were there for a good half hour, as a blue vested employee looked on with curiosity and sympathy at the sweet supporting wife and child of this man they called daddy, who slipped in and out of at least a dozen different styles of women's footwear.

Then I wondered how I ever came out seemingly normal. But then I laughed, and it was alright.

Duh End.

Entry 028 | Norwegian Wood

Murakami's Norweigan Wood is being made into a movie due out sometime next year. Though I hated the book, I'm curious to see how it'll be adapted to the big screen.



i bought a tube of matte finish lipstick today. wearing it makes me feel like this.



happy monday.

Entry 026 | It's Hip to Be Square!

Mexican architect Ricardo Legorreta and his son Victor designed the new space for Cow Town's Fort Worth Museum of Science and History. Pentagram designed their CQQL letter forms.



...and blockheads!!

Enter 025 | Happy Pandesday

Ado is the best finder of cute panda images. I don't know how he does it.
Here are some of my favs today which I have renamed Pandesday:


wasssuuuuuup?

oh, just hanging around!

I want a big family.... of pandas


Photographs: Dan Chung/guardian.co.uk

Entry 024 | "She seems to sense the coming click of the camera..."

"The Model as Muse" Exhibition at the Met

Sara Krulwich/The New York Times

Read about it. Listen about it. See the stars.



In other news, I'm really into Beyonce right now.

Entry 022 | I Got a Haircut

So I gave myself some bangs. What do you think?
I cant stop listening to Amy Grant's Every Heartbeat. When I was younger, this music video rocked my rocks. It still does.

Entry 020 | School of Rock

School of Rock is one of those movies I'll find myself quoting in my everyday life. Larry, the nerd genius boy is my favorite. In one scene he confides in Mr. Schneebly and says, "People in the bands are cool. I am not cool enough!" It's really about how he says it that cracks me up and whenever someone asks me to do something or go somewhere, I'll say, "But I'm not cool enough!" I've also been known to say, "Step OOOOOOOOOUUUUFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!" and "You're tacky and I hate you." Ahh, what a great movie. If you haven't seen, go rent it today.

You're not hardcore. Unless you live hardcore.

I am not cool enough!

Entry 018 | Unrelated

I want.
and I want to go to there.

Entry 016 | David Sedaris

Have you ever been so nervous to meet/ impress someone so much that you become a complete mute and cause awkwardness for yourself and the other party? Well, I have! Back when I was still at school at U of I, my sister and I went to go see David Sedaris* at a reading in Champaign. Not until we got there did we learn that we would get the opportunity to meet him face to face for a book signing! We eagerly got in line with our books to meet him (which now that I think of it, we must have had in our bags bc we assumed the possibility might arise). As we inched closer to the front of the line, Al and I became increasingly nervous about what we would say to him. What witty one liner would be clever enough to grab his attention, to propel our status from "fans" to "David's two new best friends?" This was our only chance, to make an impression and win him over! Suddenly the moment was upon us and we were face to face with the great David Sedaris.

My sister went first. They talked about Chicago and the weather and he wrote a nice little note on her front matter pages. Then his attention turned to me. And in a whirlwind, it unfolded something along the lines of," Yep... I'm the younger... study graphic design...my sister cleaned my dorm room before we got here...." and then intense staring at him. WhaT?!? Cleaned my room? Who cares??? All the while this nonsense was pouring from my mouth, I watched him start to draw a jack o'lantern in my book, something I saw him do in books of those who failed to please him or make any sort of connection. I wanted to say, "Wait! I love you, we have the same sense of humor, we could be frieeeeeeends!!" But alas, I had to scoot as he was already reaching out to shake the next loser's hand.

My sister was also not pleased with her own performance. Not being able to draw on her womanly wiles to pull in a gay man, she was also without a game plan and failed to make her mark. Disappointed, we slumped downstairs and seated our sorry asses down. We snapped at each other for no reason. Got irritated at the crowds for laughing too loud and too frequently and called them lemmings. And worst of all, we didn't enjoy the show.

*Being the first to author the definition of D. Sedaris, I should've thought to mention this at our meeting! But its too late now.

Amy Sedaris : Equally delightful

Entry 012 | Mitsuwa

When I've had a cruddy day, the usual suspects get an earful. And when I've unburdened a healthy load, I proceed to buy myself something nice. Today I did just that. At Mitsuwa (a world within itself), I got a beautiful Japanese magazine and delicious Japanese snacks. Looks like I wont be able to afford another cruddy day for awhile.

No, that's not Ling Lee!

The yellow rubber band was 32% of why I bought this but the cashier lady wouldn't let me have it.

Pretty

More Pretty

Look, I got a free shirt with my magazine. But I'm pretty sure I paid for it.

Entry 010 | Lieutenant Dan

In a final attempt to stop talking about myself so much (I've been told this jokingly, but it still hurt my feelings bc im sensiteeeeve) on my blog, here's one last entry about a personal experience then I'll blog about uninteresting things like the news and social issues. I was snoop-twittering and found an old picture of my friend Kelly and me from this past summer. I remember it well... We were chatting in the outdoor seating of some cafe on Rush street when this woman came up to us told us that she just saw Gary Sinise down the street. Since we were pretty much finished with our drinks and both generally get excited about the sky being blue, we freaked out and decided to go chase him down the street. We started gaining on him and urged one another to ask for a picture. You do it! No, you! stylez back and forth until Kelly finally gave in. She got his attention at the annoyance of his teenage daughter who had the look of, "leave my dad alone biotch!" written all over her face. I did my part to equally compliment and creep him out by saying, "You must hate this but... WE LOVE YOU!" in my baritone causing excited-ness. He smiled and obliged as Kelly latched herself onto him and I onto her. Thanks lieutenant Dan for being so gracious.

Entry 009 | Pot Pies to Pot Holes

Too much advertising or not, I'm in strong favor of KFC covering up my potholes. There's already enough crappy advertising out there, it's not gonna hurt to have a few thousand more. In fact, I'd welcome it. I love my Kentucky Friiiiiiied Chicken.

Entry 008 | The Mysteries of Pittsburgh

Last Summer, I read a great book by Pulitzer Prize winner author, Michael Chabon, called The Mysteries of Pittsburgh. It's a coming of age tale and I'm always a fan of those bc I feel that I'm perpetually coming of age myself. I heard talks that it would be made into a movie starring Sienna Miller but it didn't seem like it was going to fan out. I found the trailer for it today and it looks pretty good. This is also the movie where while filming, Sienna Miller got in trouble for calling Pittsburgh, "Shittsburgh."

Entry 007 | Overstock + Frownie

I was talking with my friend (who shall remain nameless) over IChat today and she said, "I found some steals on overstock last night..." Without judgment, I chuckled to myself bc I thought she said, "some steaks." Then I found out that I just can't read. But you CAN get steaks at overstock. So nothing's all that funny.
Here's a picture I took of a serendipitous landing of the ingredients of Jason's (my worker) burrito. And when I took this picture at lunch, I knew that this would be as good as it gets on today's blog.

Entry 006 | What I do at Work

The other day my co-worker Mike aka stealth was taking pictures of me and ran giggling away. He came back with this.



It's a pretty accurate delineation of a typical work day for me: eating lots of german chocolate

Entry 005 | Robert Sean Leonard

Despite the fact that I'm probably too young to have fully enjoyed it, the 90's were the best time of my life. Specifically, movies and music were the best in, in my opinion. One of my favorite things about the 90's is Robert Sean Leonard. He's an actor who's trademark was playing youth trying to break from older ideals in such movies as Dead Poets Society and Swing Kids. Actors like him existed only in the 90's, who now have mostly disappeared, leaving us to bear the dronings of questionable starlets like Hannah Montana and the dude from High School Musical. Anyhoo, he had disappeared from the limelight for well over a decade before making his comeback as House's friend in the show House. He may be best known in this role to most people today, and that makes me kind of sad. I was also dissapointed to find out that he turned 40 this year. I know that's not old, but I have to admit, I was slightly grossed out. A tiny bit. Enjoy pics of young RSL in Swing Kids below: